he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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