"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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