do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
