it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
