Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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