1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
