You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
