I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
