There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
