We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
