sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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