Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize