Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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