he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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