If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize