Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
