Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
