so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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