So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We have started to decorate penises.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
