To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
