Whod you bang
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
