Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize