Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
