we're blogging at a bar
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
