forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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