Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
