3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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