i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
