I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
