i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need to sanitize my soul.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
