Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
