my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
