would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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