Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
