I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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