yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize