You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
