i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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