I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
