I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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