we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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