Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
