apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
