No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just forgot I was standing up.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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