Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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