I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
