you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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