smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize