so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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