Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize