I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
