I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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