My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
