He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
