oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
