Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
