I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
