I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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