there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
