my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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