you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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