I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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