If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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