This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
