It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
