I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
