There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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