these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you would pick up someone in the library
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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