In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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