every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think i got beer on your cat.
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