things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
