did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
