so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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